She be a Woman!
by Diabolical Pie
Summary: Love is blooming in the innocent heart of a very nervous Leo. When Lili decides to hold a Christmas party at the Rochefort manor, Leo realizes that this might be her chance. The party turns out to be wilder than expected though, and not in the typical fashion. Journey forth as Leo overcomes her mannish shoulders and gruff native language in pursuit of feminine romance! Leo x ?


Absolutely, positively, two-hundred percent _impossible_.

Leo simply would not, could _not_ do this. She turned on her heels and made a quick dash for the door, but of course, she wasn't alone in the room. A slender hand shot out and grabbed the frantic girl by the tail of her jacket, yanking her backwards with an iron grip. Leo let out a scream of terror, her fingers so close to brushing the gilded handle of the ornate wooden door that she could almost feel the cool metal of freedom.

"And where exactly…" murmured a soft voice with a purring nasal emphasis on the "r," "Do you think you're going, _cherie_?" The words were sweet, but the tone of voice sounded dark, like that of a serial killer cornering its victim.

Leo continued struggling, reaching for the door handle, but the mysterious firm grip kept her in place. Jingling laughter rang out maniacally behind her, and the terrified girl slowly turned her head to look behind her shoulder at her grinning capturer. Emilie de Rochefort's sly eyes were sparkling in sadistic amusement, and the smile on her face only scared Leo more.

Obviously, brute force wasn't going to be enough to escape Lili's room. Although it seemed innocent enough, covered in a girly white floral paint and filled with plush stuffed animals, Leo knew better than to feel at ease. There must have been at least six cameras in this room, and that twenty security guards would be watching from the other side in case she tried anything to harm the oil princess. The ever-widening smile on Lili's face was enough to confirm this. She was in total control, and she knew it. Leo had no choice; she'd have to try to talk herself out of this one.

Leo swallowed slowly and gave the girl her best smile, which was slightly crooked and a little twitchy, but it was the best she could muster. "L-listen, Lili…" Leo said haltingly, "I just don't know if this is safe to do right here. I-I mean, don't we need, y-y'know, some privacy!?"

"Oh please," Lili purred, "The cameras can't see through the drapes around the bed." Lili gestured to the king-sized bed in the center of the lavish room to demonstrate her point. It was surrounded with gauzy white drapery, princess style, of course. Leo's face burned at the idea of security guards seeing her nude silhouette through that thin sheet of fabric.

Lili started to drag the flustered girl towards her bed, and Leo desperately searched for any way to stall the inevitable. "W-what about Asuka!?" Leo stammered, hopeful to reach her captor's conscience.

Her hopes plummeted as Lili gave her an even bigger, cat-like grin. "She's just a tad _en retard_. She can join in when she gets here; I'm not going to wait any longer." With a laugh and a flourish, Lili swept the curtains aside, her hair fanning behind her, and casually tossed an embarrassed Leo face first onto the pillows with her rear end sticking up indecently.

As the grinning girl slid onto the bed on her hands and knees, drawing the curtains closed behind her and crawling forwards slowly, Leo frantically rolled onto her back and scrambled backwards like a cornered animal. Lili crawled closer and closer, her each of her fingers individually rubbing against the rough fabric of Leo's jeans as her hands crept up towards the stuttering girl's inner thighs.

"L-L-Lili…" Leo manage to gasp between her heated panting. "I've… I've never-"

"Shh," Lili murmured, pressing a long finger against the girl's mouth. "Trust me… I have to prepare you, and there's a first time for everything…" she whispered as her fingers worked the button of her pants free. She brought her lips tantalizingly close to Leo's ear, tickling the skin with her breath as she gripped the zipper with her free hand, slowly drawing it downwards. "Including…" her hands gripped the edges of Leo's jeans slowly, her fingers pressing against the burning skin underneath.

"… wearing dresses!" Lili reared her head back in laughter as she yanked Leo's pants off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A scream rang out of the Rochefort manor so loudly that it set a flock of birds into flight from the park across the street.

* * *

Leo's stared lifelessly into her own eyes in the mirror as Lili hummed cheerfully, applying light mascara to her plaything's eyelashes. "See how much easier it is to put this on when you aren't crying?" Lili giggled. "You're being such a good girl!" Leo merely grunted.

"Lili, I think you broke her…" Asuka said from her seat at the foot of Lili's bed, concern filling her voice.

Lili merely snorted haughtily and gave Leo a fierce back-handed slap across the cheek, filling the room with a resounding _thwack!_

"H-hey!" Leo stammered, shoving Lili away from the chair in the corner of the room next she was now situated in. She shot the smirking girl a resentful glare. "I can only endure so much of this, you know!"

Lili merely brushed herself off daintily with the back of her hand where Leo had shoved her and gave her signature hair flip. She dipped her the mascara brush back into the bottle, not even bothering to look at the glaring girl seated beside her. "I did the opposite of breaking her, Asuka Kazama. See for yourself."

Lili turned the chair around to give Asuka a better view of her work, drawing a gasp. Leo flushed red and squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, trying pointlessly to pull the frilly sky blue dress she was wearing down lower than her upper thighs. The frills took down two birds with one stone, being both gauzy and attractive while hiding Leo's sadly lacking assets skillfully. It had a thin, silk sash sewn into the waistline, emphasizing her slender stomach.

Of course, a dress alone wasn't enough to make up an entire outfit. A thick brown jacket rested on Leo's shoulders with a soft, furry hood around the top and down the back, giving the whole thing a more wintery look. The sleeves were turned up and buttoned just below her elbows, leaving the smooth skin of her forearms bare until the bottoms of her hands, which were covered in thick, fingerless, hand-knit gloves.

Leo tugged uncomfortably at the itchy black tights clinging to her legs. They covered her, but somehow made her feel even more exposed with their closeness. Creamy brown leather boots that were just half a size too small cramped her toes. They came up just slightly higher than her ankles, laces crawling up the front and tied in a long knot at the top, and had fur to match her hood around the edges.

The make-up Lili had applied was nothing like the over-the-top, colorful stuff the princess loved to use for herself. It was subdued, and hardly noticeable, bringing out the softness of her face and the curves of her lips, giving them a natural, glossy pink color. Her eyelashes merely seemed longer and darker than usual, and Lili had used a small stencil to add some light snowflakes around the edges of her eyes. Needless to say, the girl knew her stuff when it came to fashion and make-up.

Leo was breathtaking.

She was also starting to hyperventilate.

"Guys, guys, guys…! This is a really bad idea…! Woah, I think I'm getting dizzy, I should, uh, probably change into something more comfortable!" She was gripping the sides of the chair so tightly that her fingers were white as bone.

Lili smiled warmly and bent over to get at eye level with the rapidly breathing girl. She gently took Leo's hand in her own and caressed the palm soothingly. Gradually, Leo started to relax, and Lili gave her a calming stare with her blue, compassionate eyes.

Then she opened her mouth. "If you dare- if you _DARE_- change a single thing about this fantastic appearance I've worked so hard to bless a hideous creature such as yourself with, I'll have daddy come to your miserable abode in your sleep, chop out your tongue with the bluntest, rustiest knife money can buy, and ship you off to slavery in a desolated third world country where you'll never be heard from again. _C'est clair_!?" Lili was speaking so quickly at the end of her tangent that the words tumbled over themselves in a wild fury.

Leo blinked and nodded, her face pale as ice. Lili smiled cheerfully and skipped away, disappearing into her enormous closet.

The terrified girl was trembling in her seat again, so Asuka decided that a change of subject might do her good. "I mean… you're the one that came to her asking for this, right?" Asuka said, standing up and walking over to stand beside her. "I don't think you should take it off! Lili's full of crap, but she's right about one thing!"

The girl gave Leo's shoulder a gruff, friendly punch. "You look great! And changing clothes now would defy the whole purpose of this!"

Right. The purpose of this.

It wasn't as if Leo had just felt like playing dress-up today. It wasn't for herself.

It was for him.

Leo started to fiddle with the edge of her dress again, focusing her gaze on her feet. "What if… what if it's too different?" she murmured, almost too quietly to be heard. "What if he doesn't like it? It's been three months since we last saw each other! What if…" Leo seemed practically on the verge of tears.

Asuka looked around awkwardly. She wasn't really good at all this comforting and shit. Was she supposed to hug her right now? Maybe she should change the subject again. Ahhh! This was all too complicated!

Finally making a decision, she scrunched her eyes together and punched the back of the girl's head so hard that she flew off the chair and onto the floor. Asuka put her hands on her hips and leaned down furiously. "Grow up and get over yourself, dammit! You're going to go up to him at the party tonight and tell him how you feel!" The walls echoed with the girl's shouting.

Leo sat upright, rubbing the back of her head painfully. There were tears forming at the corners of her eyes, but she was smiling sheepishly. Asuka wondered briefly if she'd gone too far, but Leo's words dismissed her fears. "You're right, Asuka," she said, much steadier than before. She blinked and wiped the tears away gruffly, then stood up to her full height, her fears burned away with determination.

She flashed Asuka a broad grin. "I'm going to blow him away! Just you wait!" Asuka grinned back and gave her two thumbs up.

"_Fantastique_. Just try to refrain from blowing _everyone_ away. I'd be quite cross with you if you stole my spotlight." Lili's voice trailed from the closet, dripping with sarcasm. She emerged from the closet wearing a scandalous Santa outfit, complete with a hat and bells and showing off quite a bit of her legs. She strode over to the mirror and gave a quick twirl, admiring herself lovingly. Then, without warning, she gave another toss of her hair and made her way to the door and into the hallway, jingling with every step.

Asuka gave Leo another quick squeeze on her shoulder for encouragement, and the two headed out after their hostess, ready face this night's Christmas party.

* * *

Leo was sitting in a plush chair staring at the spotless ballroom floor of the Rochefort mansion. It was so well buffed that she could see her own reflection in the floor in the crimson light of the setting sun, and just looking at herself was starting to make her nervous all over again. She took a quick breath and looked out the window instead, where clumps of snow were gathering on the balcony.

Her gaze drifted across the ballroom just in time to see Lili smack Asuka across the head for stealing food from the buffet line before other the other guests arrived. Leo smiled slightly. The casualness of the motion was enough to set her at ease again.

At least, she thought it was, until the doorbell rang and her heart leaped into her throat.

Asuka was about to run and get the door when Lili smacked her over the head again, reminding her that she didn't pay her servants for nothing. Of course, the two got into a catfight that looked like it was about to last a while.

Watching them wasn't enough to stop the thudding in Leo's chest. It had been so long. Her mind was filled with images of him, and it just made things worse. The palms of her hand were sweating profusely, and she quickly wiped them against her jacket. She didn't want to have sweaty hands when she shook his hand. Or would it be better to hug him when she saw him? To hug his broad, warm chest…

She only half-noticed the ballroom door open, she was so caught up in fantasizing about what it would be like to be held in his arms. The light of the sunset blinded her, and she raised her forearm over her head to see clearly. Her heart did another jump.

There he was, punctual and serious-faced as ever.

Lars.

Despite the nervousness consuming her, Leo stood up and started to walk towards him, running the words she wanted to say through her head to greet him. Lili and Asuka had ceased their fight and were cleaning themselves up as they approached the first guest to arrive, shooting each other glares along the way. Leo took a deep breath and put on her best smile, raising up a hand to wave and say hello.

Then Alisa Bosconovitch jumped up behind him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, wrapping her hand around his, and Leo felt a cold, empty feeling settle itself into the pit of her stomach.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hello friends! This is part of a three part Christmas series that I'm planning! I'll probably release the other two parts tomorrow! I'd appreciate any input or critique you could offer, as I'm always striving to improve my writing. Merry Christmas!**

**-Pie**


End file.
